ElfLelouch
by Roxius
Summary: A short parody of the beginning of the movie 'Elf' with Lelouch as the main character! Please R & R!


Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

Please check out my AMVs and 'Family Geass/Geass Guy' videos on Youtube, too! My name there is "Hikasu3445".

I think the reason I don't watch the anime is because, I can't really stand anime. I think it takes too long and gets boring at times, so I'm more of a manga/novel person. That's why I bought the first two volumes of the manga and the first volume of the novel series to give me some more info.

Also, the second greatest thing ever: a Code Geass/Elf parody! Obviously, I'm not going to write the whole thing (I don't have the time NOR the patience NOR the ideas), so please enjoy what you get!

* * *

_Far away in the very outer reaches of the South Pole..._

Lelouch always knew something was different about himself. Although he wore the same bright, green-white-red fluffy outfits of his fellow comrades and had the same endlessly-cheerful disposition, he never really fit in. Maybe it was his personality, or his hair color, or the way he spoke...he just felt so out of place with the others...

"Actually, it's because you're a human...and I'm not your real father,"

Lelouch gasped and stared in horror at the short, blond, pointy-eared man that he had considered his 'father' for the last 17 years of his life.

"Y-You mean..." Lelouch wheezed, clutching at his chest as if he was having a heart attack, "I'm not...I'm not an elf?!"

Lelouch's 'father', who was known to the other elves of Santa's workshop as V.V., had adopted the human boy when he was only one year old. Somehow, an orphaned baby had found its way into Santa's bag, and he wasn't discovered until after all of the deliveries had been finished that night and they had already returned to the North Pole. As the poor thing had no parents to raise him, V.V. had taken it upon himself to care for the child as his very own. However, considering human children grow three times as large and twice as quickly as elves, things did become difficult.

"S-So...I'm not your son...? And you're not my dad...?" Lelouch asked, tears filling his eyes.

V.V. sighed and rubbed his forehead, disgruntled with his decision to finally tell him. "Yes, that's the truth. But, Lelouch, please...don't cry, alright? It'll just make you leaving harder..."

"...Huh? Leaving...? Wait, you mean-AN ADVENTURE?!" Lelouch was really easy to cheer up, apparently.

Suddenly, the door behind them swung open, and a large man in red with a big white beard to match stepped in. Several elves were trying to get a peek on what was going on.

"HEEEEEEEEEEY, IT'S SANTA CLAUS!! YOU ALWAYS CHEER ME UP WHEN YOU COME ALONG!!! YOU'RE HERE TO MAKE ME HAPPY...RIGHT?!" Lelouch exclaimed, his eyes practically twinkling.

Reaching into his pocket, Santa unsheathed a rolled-up parchment paper. "Actually, Lelouch...I've decided that you should go and meet your real father, a man in New York named Charles zi Britannia..."

"OHH OHH OHH!!! NEW YORK, HUH?! COOL!!!" Lelouch clapped his hands happily, "THIS IS REALLY EXCITING!! I'LL GET TO MEET MY REAL DAD!! WHAT'S HE LIKE?! HAVE YOU MET HIM?! HAVE YOU?!! IS HE A FUN-LOVING GOOD-HEARTED SOUL?!"

"Well..." Santa let out a sigh, and was silent for a moment.

Lelouch grew anxious. "...Is he?"

"Lelouch..." Santa Claus took in a deep breath, "Your father is on the naughty list."

Lelouch gasped. "...NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

* * *

_In New York..._

Staring absently at the papers in his hands, Charles zi Britannia sighed, and closed his eyes for a few minutes. Then, he said, "...I'm going to bomb your country if you don't pay,"

"Wait a minute! I didn't even get to say anything-" the Japanese Ambassador cried.

"I said I'm going to bomb your country if you don't pay," Charles spoke up, "And that's all you need to know."

Then, he pressed a button on his desk and called in to schedule a date for the bombing as the Japanese Ambassador stared on in complete silence.

* * *

"This...this can't be true!!" Lelouch cried, "He...he can't be on the naughty list!!"

"Well, it is true, Lelouch," Santa explained, "Your dad...he's just not a very nice man..."

"NOT...POSSIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

Santa nodded. "This is one of the reasons we want you to go and live with your real father, Lelouch. Maybe you have a chance of helping him change his ways and come to understand the true meaning of Christmas and good will..."

"RIGHT!! LEAVE IT TO ME!!!" Lelouch exclaimed.

And so, with his heart full of Christmas cheer and excitement, Lelouch the "elf" set off on his journey to the city of New York to meet his real father. After eating gum off the street, running through spinning doors, and giving hugs to complete strangers, he finally finds his father's workplace. Will he succeed in winning his father's heart...or will this be the last Christmas Lelouch will ever have?

...LIKE HELL I'M GOING TO CONTINUE!


End file.
